Listening to: Dying
So I spent all of today working on a Personal Response essay so I could work up my essay writing skills for the second part of the English 30-1 Midterm, which has me write two essays, a Critical and a Personal. I woke up at 9:30 ON THE DOT, because If I had slept a second longer the family whore would've knocked down my door and LITERALLY would've blown an airhorn right next to my head. No exaggeration.
I worked from 10 AM all the way t'ill 5 PM on this stupid English bullshit. Well, that and Weapon Adoptions I'm doing so I CAN GET MONEY!, So now I just came down and sat down to work on my 3 ALBUMS I am trying to get signed by MONSTERCAT and submit on SOUNDCLOUD so I can get EXPOSURE and get MONEY.
And what do you know, the family wench comes down and instal-rages at me saying I'm sitting on my ass not doing anything, wasting my time when I could be finding a job. Oh so the 5 applications I sent aren't good enough? How bout the university applications? Or how bout the fact I'm trying to get a career through Twitch/Youtube Streaming, Music Producing, Making Art, and trying to get my name out in the world as a Bass Guitar player? And that's not including the hundreds of hours I've put in working on Prose series like Star X, Project Starconium, CrapCode., and some of the other highly-ambitious projects I've dedicated hours towards.
So all of this apparently doesn't mean fucking shit to anyone in my family. Then they ask me why Im always stressed out and tired and look like shit. They don't understand and don't realize that I WORK HARDER THAN THEM.
My mom sits on her ass all day doing child's play work for my English course like writing essays. Which are very straightforward, all while Im forced to read and do basically reading comprehension for Shakespeare's King Lear, and watch movies and shit like that. She gets all of the easy stuff, while I have to deal with vague, time consuming, reading comprehension, thats just boring. And if it isn't that, she's sitting on her ass STILL IN HER PAJAMAS LOOKING LIKE SHIT, watching Star Trek or Netflix for HOURS ON END.
Last month alone she watched almost 3 or 4 movies on Netflix A DAY.
And my dad, he's a not-good-for-anything passes-by-the-skin-of-his-ass under-achieving substitute teacher., always having someone else do HIS work for him. I shit you not. He lets actual teachers do his work, and then he either comes home saying his day was stress free, or that his day was hell and he won't stop complaining about kids with mental illness. Bitch, you thought your day was tough? I had to sit in the exact same spot for almost 10 HOURS, doing the boringness shit I've ever seen. He half-asses his job and calls THAT HARD WORK.
My dad bitches at me, asking why I have Rheumatism all over my body. He says I should take at least 20 minutes to go on the treadmill and get exercise. While I COULD, Im always feeling pressured to do things:
- Get a job
- Finish my multiple albums
- Do streams
- Uploading videos on Youtube
- Hanging out with friends (Which improves mental stability, and reduces stress)
- Work on art
- Work on practicing and playing the Bass
- University applications
- Finishing up courses (Math 30, French 200, Calculus, English 30, Chemistry 30, Physics 20) All in the same year.
- Working on Prose literature
- Taking care of myself
- Learning about society (I had to worry about getting a car and managing things in my RBC account for a few months)
All these things take time and consideration. While I could take the time to get exercise, I always feel like taking that time could butterfly effect into me not having enough time SOMEHOW that could go towards something that will get me a job or get out of this house.
Im just too worried about my future to give a shit about my own health.